Done For. (Cass, then Vic!)

[LILY LUNA -----]

Lily made her way through King’s Cross Station, weaving in and out of muggles left, right, and sideways until she made her way to the invisible barrier that got you through to Platform 9¾. Her blue skinny jeans and black tank top, with her black and white sneakers let her blend into the crowd, which was something she desperately needed when she came here. Whenever Lily needed some serious quiet time, she came here, and only the closest people to her knew that. People like Vic, Teddy, Kara, and Lucian. They were the only four that knew that she came here when she needed that moment when things were going wrong. It wasn’t that things were going wrong…it was just that, for some reason, things had changed, in some weird way that she didn’t understand. Being Queen B. had changed. Losing Lucian had been devastating. Having Lysander as a boyfriend was basically useless. And not having Victoire around to help her, as she hadn’t for the past year…everything was slowly taking it’s toll on her.

She went and sat down on one of the benches, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. The absolute quiet calmed her down. There was not one sound, not one person around…pure, sweet silence. She wished that she could come here more often, but the thought only came to her when she really needed it. She really needed the peace now, though. Her composure was slowly slipping, her self-control getting slacker…she was a complete mess. Lucian had been the person that had held her up. She had depended on him for too long, and it was like crutches being pulled away from a person with a newly-broken leg; pure torture. Of course, she hadn’t let it show. She had gotten together with Lysander Scamander on the day of her birthday, and she had shone him off like a newly-found toy. But she didn’t like him at all, and neither did he, her.

She hadn’t had Victoire for a year, though nothing had been as hard as it was now. Everything was sort-of melding together, and bringing together a confusing sameness. Everyday was the same thing. She went to class, she messed with her minions, she kissed Lysander, she did her work, she ruined people’s lives, she spent money…over, and over, and over again. Her head was spinning, with all the people she dealt with, and what she did day after day after day…she could see why Kara had such problems being Queen. It was exhausting, and especially the way Lily was ruling…she was running herself into the ground. She didn’t know that, though. She just thought that nothing was wrong. She thought that everything was perfect, and that she just needed some time to herself. That was it. Oh, how wrong she was.

-thanks to davvy of caution 2.0 for the image! :]

[CASSIOPEIA _____]

Cass was job hunting wherever she could. She certainly needed to do that give the fact that in about seven months or so she would be someone’s mother. That someone was going to need a lot of things that she could not afford without a job of some sort. She was going to get him what he needed and more in a sense. He would have something that she didn’t, he would have all the love in the world. He would have family that loved him even if they were not necessarily related by blood to him. And she knew that he would have a wonderful father, she could not think of anyone better than Benji. She had every faith in his abilities. It was almost like he had learned to love over the past few months. Also he was responsible and sweet and everything that anyone could want. He was her everything. She didn’t need anything other than him.

She was constantly looking at various things for the baby when she stumbled across the shops for it. He certainly needed a crib. She just had a feeling that she was going to have a boy. By all reports her mother had been the same way. She had known that she was carrying girls, a fact that her husband was not so fond of. Melora had been intuitive like that, at least that was what people had told Cass. She barely remembered her mother, she had died when she was around four. So Cass had done without a mother and without a family for the most part. However the same would not happen to her son. That was the most exciting part for her in a way.

However the job search had ended for the day and now she was on her way back to Hogwarts. She made her way through the train station on her way to the right platform. She had on jeans and a t-shirt of Benji’s that she had snatched underneath her winter coat. She made her way through the barrier without attracting a second glance. After all she was not showing yet, it was still too early for that. All the same due to Gossip the news was spread. As she stepped onto the platform she only saw one other person there. It was Lily Potter. She wanted nothing to do with Lily Potter, especially not after what she had said to her. So she just gave her one glance before she just waited for the train.

[LILY LUNA -----]

Lily sighed as she sat there, doing absolutely nothing. The train wasn’t there, and probably wasn’t coming as it didn’t sense that she needed to go anywhere. When she needed to go back, it would take her back, and there would be no problem. She would have the solitary travel for those several long hours, and overall, she’d be fine when she got back. She hoped. She didn’t really know what was going on with her. The tears welled up in her eyes once again, and she took a shaky breath. Damnit! What was wrong with her? She needed to pull it together. Now. She couldn’t continue doing this. This wasn’t like her. Or at least, the her that other people saw.

Opening her eyes, she saw as Cassiopeia McGonagall came into the train station and waited for the train. How could she just walk in and pretend she didn’t exist? Lily knew that Cassiopeia hated her. She had every reason to. Lily hadn’t exactly made her life any easier. She had made it harder. She had outed her pregnancy to Gossip Girl, she had given her hell about sleeping with Lucian…she had just made everything harder for the girl. She didn’t exactly know what to say, or to do, but she couldn’t stand that stony silence caused by the hatred the girl had for her.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Lily asked, breaking the silence. “Of course you do. You don’t have any reason to really like me, do you?” She laughed a sardonic laugh and closed her eyes. Where was her head right now? It seemed like she couldn’t screw it on straight. It was ridiculous how all-over-the-place she was at the moment. Still, she spoke to Cass, maybe hoping to get a response. She didn’t even exactly know what she was looking for. She was just looking…for something, for anything…she took a deep breath. Maybe even for nothing.

-thanks to davvy of caution 2.0 for the image! :]

[CASSIOPEIA _____]

Cass tried her best not to think about her other companion on this empty platform. Cass tried not to worry about other people but it seemed like Lily Potter was out to get her for some reason that she didn’t understand. Because of that she was nervous to be around her. After all she never knew who was really out to get her, who was working for her family. Of course she didn’t really thing that she as all that sinister. After all she was just sixteen, then again Cass was only seventeen. Still there was a big difference between them, though they both knew many of the same people. Often they were polar opposites in their opinions of those people. Why that was, Cass was not sure, and it wasn’t worth worrying over.

This was going to be slightly unpleasant, or at least she thought so. Then again she didn’t have to speak to Lily, she could just stand there. She felt like that would work the best for both of them. After all Lily had made it clear that she thought Cass was a liar and a whore, though in Cass’s opinion she was neither. So she had nothing to say to Lily Potter. She just kept the bag of things she had picked up, little things, mostly for Benji. She was standing quietly when, surprise of surprises. Lily spoke to her. She looked over at Lily. ”I don’t hate you, not exactly, but I do pity you.”

She was quiet for a moment after that, looking to see if the train was coming. Then she looked at Lily again. ”Look at me, my mother is dead, my sister and my father tried to kill me and basically succeeded. They ruined my education and health, they made a mockery of me. People, guys mainly, who I thought were my friends used me, but I found the right one anyways. your boyfriend, well ex boyfriend, raped me. Then I was told I could never have children, and get somehow I got pregnant anyways. I’m too young for it and I really don’t have any money, but I’m making it work. Now my boyfriend might go to jail for saving both… all three of our lives. I have suffered through all of this and yet, I’m happier than you. I’ve lost everything and I’m happier than you. What does that tell you?” She gave Lily half a shrug, everything she said was true so she could make what she wanted of it.

[LILY LUNA -----]

Lily heard that Cass pitied her. Was there really any reason for her to be pitied? She heard the rest of what Cass had to say, and she felt guilt rise up within her. The girl’s life had been horrible, absolutely horrible, and she had only done things to make it harder for her. And she didn’t even hate her. She just found it in herself to pity her. It didn’t make sense to Lily. How could Cass have nothing, but still be happy? She didn’t have a family. She didn’t have money. She didn’t have anything fancy…she barely had a place to live, besides Hogwarts! How could she be happier than her? Nothing made sense about her situation, and it made Lily question her. After all, she hadn’t been hostile, maybe she’d actually answer.

“How? How are you happy? You have next to nothing…you have a child on the way…how are you happy? You have no money, no family, you’re not doing well at Hogwarts…I don’t understand.” Lily said. She didn’t understand at all. Lily had everything. She had money, she had expensive clothes and shoes and jewelry, she ran the halls of Hogwarts, and she had minions doing her bidding. That sounded so much better than what the girl in front of her, and yet, she was right. Cass was happier than her. This upset her more than she would let anyone know, and so she closed her eyes and took another deep breath. She seemed to be doing that a lot for this conversation. It was taking a lot out of her, talking to her. Cassiopeia Black McGonagall seemed to have a better personality than her, and it was getting to her.

Lily stared at the girl in front of her, waiting for some sort-of answer. She doubted that Cass would make any sense, because the concept that she was trying to pull across didn’t make any sense. Okay, so Lily was lying to herself. At this point, though, she was allowed to. She was trying to immerse herself in complete denial. A voice in the back of her head, one that sounded familiar, for some reason, was telling her that it did make sense. That she wasn’t happy. That she had put herself in this position. She had made her bed, now she was lying in it, and now she wasn’t happy. Lily ran a hand through her hair and removed her eyes from Cass, opting to stare at the floor. After all, the floor couldn’t talk to her, could it?

-thanks to davvy of caution 2.0 for the image! :]

[CASSIOPEIA _____]

Cass didn’t exactly intend to make lily feel guilty. Sure there was a part of her that wanted to make the other girl realize just how terrible she had been. She felt a need to do that as no one else had seemed to be able to smack some sense into her. Sure Cassie was not using her hands but she was using her words to do it. Still she would not fight and call her names, that was Lily’s level, not hers. Cass was determined to be more controlled. She was going to have to be as the coming months were going to be hard ones, really hard ones. Plus it was good practice for good behavior later. She thought it was best not to be swearing her head off in front of the baby. She as trying to be the bigger person in a sense, though it went against all that she was raised for as a Black. She was still sort of used to getting her way. After all it had been that way for so long that it was no wonder she wasn’t used to it. All the same she was lucky in the regard that she was not particularly demanding.

She looked at Lily pensively for a moment. ”I’m trying to think of how to put it.” She thought for a moment longer. She wondered if Lily would attack her after she said this. She was uncomfortable so she sat down on the bench as well. ”I hope you don’t mind, I gets dizzy and I tire out easily.” She folded her hands in her lap. ”I guess when you loose everything you learn a lot about what matters and what really makes you happy. You worry about loosing things that don’t really matter, and I don’t anymore. I’ve learned how much more important it is to be kind to people. I mean I do have a family now, but it’s a family of friends. Being popular isn’t important to me anymore, in fact I’m pretty sure I’m not anymore. What matters are my friends. Benji matters, because he loves me, I love him, and we’re good to each other. This baby matters, and all of those things make me happy. Those are the kind of things that will last a lifetime, being Queen B will not.” She shrugged, there was nothing more to say.

Cass leaned forward in order to see if the train was coming, no sign of it yet. She wasn’t sure how she was going to handle Lily if she went off at her. The thought made her a little sick to her stomach, though that could just be her morning sickness.

[LILY LUNA -----]

Lily didn’t really mind that Cass had sat down next to her, and that thought alone showed how out-of-it she truly was. Usually, Lily would’ve gotten up, and insulted her in disgust. But truly, she didn’t have the privilege to do that right now. She listened to Cass’ words, her eyes staring straight ahead at the cemented pavement of the platform. She didn’t really have anywhere else to look, and she wasn’t going to stare at Cassiopeia with her sitting right next to her. That would have made the situation more awkward than it already was, and it didn’t need to be. Lily took a deep breath, and then turned to look at her.

“But I don’t have a family anymore! My father’s been distant, my mother…we’ve never been close, and Albus and James hate me!” She said. “Chuck left me, after he…well, you know the whole situation, since you were the one who was…and all I have is Lysander bloody Scamander, who’s using me to get more popular. Scorpius is too taken up with Kara, Kara hates me, because her purpose of using me is gone, and she was even trying to take me down before she found out that she was pregnant! Alex hates me, my minions are just that – minions, and all of my cousins are dead set against me, just like everyone else.” Lily was desperate. She had no one in the world to depend on, and she had only just realized it. “I used to be close with my cousin Vic, but she left the family after her and my god-brother broke up. And even he’s been a little distant lately. I have no family, no friends…but all the riches in the world.” Lily laughed bitterly.

“You’re a Gryffindor. You don’t have to worry about people backstabbing you, or you losing your position as Queen…or even a mutiny! You have people to depend on…” Lily bit down on her lower lip. “You’re so lucky.” She said quietly, and then turned away from Cass, leaning forward and looking down at the floor. She had never envied anyone except for Kara, and now, the jealousy she felt for the girl sitting right next to her…it was almost overwhelming her. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes, wishing this conversation wasn’t even happening. It seemed to be doing more worse than good, in Lily’s opinion. Cass might have thought that she was breaking through to Lily, and she was, but for Lily…all it was doing was ruining her perspective when she had to return to Hogwarts, and to her fakeness, and to her position as Queen B.

-thanks to davvy of caution 2.0 for the image! :]

[CASSIOPEIA _____]

Cass wasn’t sure how to speak to lily all in all. She had a feeling that this might do more harm than good. It was hard enough for her to deal with all that had happened recently let alone talk to someone like Lily Potter about it. She wished that she had some more answers, as evidently she wasn’t going to have the ones this girl was looking for. In fact she really didn’t have any answers. All she had was life experience and that could only take her so far in this. There was that and the fact that Lily Potter didn’t have the best reputation when it came to hearing people out. It was all that Cass could do to just sit there and speak and listen accordingly. That was hard enough for her. She wasn’t going to look this slytherin in the face and tell her that none of her problems were her fault. She knew the gossip, she had followed it. There was a big difference between their actions. Cass a few months ago could not have comprehended being this mentally clear. She thought she was doomed and for the most part she didn’t really care. She didn’t really care until Benji and the fact that she really was dying.

Cass listened to the people that Lily listed off as those who had left her, those who were not close or even around for her anymore. Cass was not sure what to say except that she knew what it was to loose family, but then again that went without saying. She had lost all of that but in letting it go regained everything and more. That was the part that she thought Lily was missing. That was the most important part as well. She was not sure how to tell her that, she’d just have to let it go and when Lily so chose she could recognize that. Cass pursed her lips for a moment. ”Don’t take this the wrong way, but many of the things that you have done have come off as deliberately malicious to say the least. I mean you strove and fought and clawed eyes out for that title, and now it isn’t so great is it? But now it’s all you have right? Well you have to pick. You can give up everything and gain something, or you can keep that until it fades away.” Then Cass raised an eyebrow.

”Hold on there, Gryffindors are just people too. We don’t always get along and we back stab each other too. You just don’t see that.” Then Cass nodded. ”You are right though, I am damn lucky. Otherwise I’d be dead right now.” Cass wondered if Lily blamed her for what happened with Luc. So Cass put a slightly awkward but comforting hand on Lily’s shoulder.

[LILY LUNA -----]

Why couldn’t she have both? Lily didn’t understand. Kara used to have both. Kara had been Queen B., and had kept her family and friends close, and had even turned Lily into the next Queen after she had surrendered. What was so different about Kara and her that she couldn’t pull off what Kara had done for over two years? That just made her feel even more inferior. It wasn’t fair that Kara had gotten everything she wanted! She had Scorpius, she had Alex and Selena, she was rich, she was powerful…why did Lily have to suffer if she was so well off? It didn’t seem right. Lily knew it wasn’t right. Just because she was a Potter and Kara was a Johnson…didn’t that mean that Lily should’ve gotten better? She was Harry Potter’s daughter, for crying out loud! She should’ve gotten the best of everything. But, then again, she was nothing like her father. Maybe that was why.

“But…but I don’t want to choose! I’ve worked so hard to get where I am!” Lily said desperately. It wasn’t fair to throw it away for people she couldn’t depend on! “But…but how do you know you can depend on people? The only people I know would throw me under the bus without a second glance! And even if I wasn’t Queen B., they’d still do it anyway. You know different people, and those people actually…they actually want to be your friends. Most people just get stuck with me.” She said with a helpless shrug. It was true. Her family got stuck with her, and those that she used to call ‘friends’…well, they didn’t call her friends anymore. All they did was smile to her face and wait for every chance to stab her in the back, or take her down a peg. The bitching never stopped in Slytherin, but Cassie was a Gryffindor. She didn’t seem to comprehend that. Surely, with Calliope as a sister, she should’ve known the difference, but it seemed that she didn’t.

She felt the hand on her shoulder, and didn’t make any move to shrug it off. She heard the train pull up, and she sat up. “I know you’ve been waiting for the train. Go. I’m sure Benji would love to see you.” It hurt to force it out of her mouth, but the statement should’ve made Cass at least smile…or something. She put on a fake smile and gestured to the train, and then turned and lay back on the bench. She didn’t really care what Cass did at this point, just so long as she was left alone. She really needed some peace and quiet, and now, some time to think, as well.

-thanks to davvy of caution 2.0 for the image! :]

[CASSIOPEIA _____]

Cass knew that she really could not say anymore? Maybe Lily didn’t understand that this wasn’t for her, that this Queen B thing wasn’t her thing. How did she tell her that she wasn’t Kara? How did she say that Kara hadn’t been happy at this either, or at least it didn’t seem so. How did she tell her that she had earned everything she had now? Maybe that was the way to say it. ”Well, maybe you’ve earned everything you have now? Did that maybe occur to you?” After all reputation were earned and people generally were trustworthy to those that they could trust in turn. That was the way that it was. Honestly Cass was a little sick of these girl, woah is me I’m so unfortunate. At least they could grasp at something, at least there was family there who might embrace them. God only knew that if she ever saw her father again he might just curse her and kill her. That was how it went. Blacks were like that, no way around it. No one wished it was different more than Cass did. Once in a while being an outcast now got to her. What she was now got to her. One tiny little speck of her still wanted to be the Party Queen, because she certainly was. For the past few years it wasn’t a good party if she wasn’t there. Well now that was over and she’d just have to get used to it. Anyways she had so much more now.

Cass looked up at the train pulled into the station. She could hear it and then she saw it as it chugged up. She was not sure what to do about Lily until she was instructed by Lily herself. She did need to bring back the things she had gotten, and she had work soon. Did she have work tonight? No, she didn’t think so, it was tomorrow. So she stood without a word and headed for the train. She got on the train, passing the school healer on the way out. She looked at Victoire Weasley but there was no recognition or any sort from the other woman.

Victoire stepped off the train onto what looked like an empty platform. She was happy for the first time in what the was told was a while. She was on her way home, back to the apartment that she had not exactly moved back into yet. She had not moved back in but she had indeed been spending most of her time there. She was going there tonight, though she was not sure how long she would stay for. Then as she walked over to leave the platform she saw someone she recognized. It was her younger cousin. ”Hello Lily”

[LILY LUNA -----]

Lily heard as Cassiopeia embarked on the train, and couldn’t really find herself bothered much. She just felt like going and curling up somewhere to hide from the world. All Cass had done was make her feel worst, because now, she felt like she had to choose. Family and friends vs. Queen B…how could she choose? She didn’t know if she could depend on people. She had always been too trustful, and after so many people had up and left her, she didn’t feel like getting hurt again. She couldn’t take it. Her brothers, her parents her cousins…her old boyfriend…she couldn’t take much more. She wouldn’t take much more. She was done forcing herself to trust people just because she was a Potter. She could feel the tears falling now. She was so done. Honestly.

She couldn’t take this going back and forth. She didn’t want to anymore. What she wanted to do was…be a Gryffindor! She wished she had never been a Slytherin! She wished she had never even been a Potter. She wished she hadn’t become Queen, she wished she hadn’t befriended Kara, and she wished she had never dated Chuck. She wished she had never gotten involved with the Slytherin royalty, she wished she had never gotten involved with Scorpius, and she wished she had never abandoned her family to go after something as stupid as Slytherin royalty. But, then again, she couldn’t say that without a heavy heart. Scheming, stepping on people, and her headbands and minions were a part of her now. She couldn’t just say goodbye to it all, and pretend like it never happened. Just like she couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t a Slytherin, she wasn’t a Queen, and that she had never known Scorpius, Kara, or Lucian. Her head was spinning, and she could feel the lump in her throat that went along with her tears.

She heard a voice call out to her, and she tried to stop her tears. She didn’t want anyone to see her crying. That would be way too embarrassing. Though she knew that voice from somewhere...was it…no. It couldn’t be, well, Vic? She looked up, and through blurry eyes, she saw the signature blonde hair of her older, and used-to-be-closest cousin, Victoire. She wiped at her eyes, and wiped away the tear-tracks on her cheeks. She thanked Merlin for water-proof mascara. Her eye-shadow, though, was slightly smudged as she had rubbed at her eyes, and it was obvious from the redness of her bloodshot eyes and the puffiness of the skin around them that she had been crying. She tried to pay it off, acting mean to her cousin. Not that all of it was acting. She was extremely angry with Vic, and sort-of had every right to be. “‘Hello Lily’? Go away, Vic. Go back to wherever you’ve been for the past year.” Lily said, miserably. She turned and looked in the other direction. She didn’t want to talk to Vic, her betraying, abandoning cousin for…forever.

-thanks to davvy of caution 2.0 for the image! :]