break down? _Jay_

[KARA ANITA JOHNSON]

So it was about nineteen weeks in and Kara had been in and out of the hospital for quite some time now. Not to mention that she was in full time bed rest. Being a Johnson and all she couldn't listen and needed to move around but she was being careful and using a wheelchair. What the muggles called it anyway. It was powered by magic so she could move around easier without putting stress on the babies. Ever since her last fight with Scorp, it had been playing over and over in her mind. She was doubting herself and she didn't know what to do. She just sat in bed and it was hard enough having to learn from a professor who came to your home everyday but it was like, it felt more like she wasn't really learning anything. She should have dropped out completely like Cass, but then of course her husband would have had a fit and it only seemed like they ever fought. With his father trying to come into their lives start anew and everything.

She managed to floo herself and the chair to the small and tiny home of Jamie and Selena. Although she really wished that her sister still lived at home, Kara really missed her and the house was just so quiet, to quiet that she felt she'd go insane with the silence. Plus the help was starting to get irritated with her bossing and whatever else was wrong in her eyes. It wasn't like she could do it herself though, being confined to a damn bed until these kids came out. What really worried her the most was how she was going to fix her stomach after they came out, oh yes Kara had defiantly seen the stretch marks on her body. She worried about so many things that she was literally about ready to have a melt down. "Jay? you around here?" she yelled, hoping to get an answer.

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[JAMIE MADDOX]

Jay had been relaxing in his and Selena's place. He was relaxing on the banister, in his tamarin form. But when Kara came in and yelled for him... It startled him, so he ended up falling onto the couch that was below where he was. He changed back into himself and peeked over the back of the couch. "Gosh Kara... you startled me... no need to yell you know..." He gave her a look and then got up and went over to her. "what's going on Kara?" He asked curiously. He wondered what brought her over there unannounced.

[KARA ANITA JOHNSON]

The chair rolled over to the otherside of the couch, having been on the backside. She wanted to be able to see Jamie's face. When she saw something fall she felt really bad, As she was used to yelling through out her huge house. Their's was much smaller, so their was no need for yelling but she forgot. she gave him an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, i forget that you have a smaller house"Her face had a small smile on it but it faded and she just broke down. When she heard the words, 'what's going on?' She just couldn't hold in her emotions any longer, her damn hormones. She only had forever to go, and having read a bunch of parenting books, she was on an overload. Sniffling and wiping away her tears, she tried to breathe and talk. "I-I'm s-sor-ry" was pretty much all she could get out.

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[JAMIE MADDOX]

Jay stretched alittle to get himself feeling back to his normal self. He often felt the need to stretch after being in his small little monkey form. Jay laughed and said "well i guess it is hard to remember that Me and Selena wanted a smaller house. it's quite comfortable. " Although admittedly he missed the chaos that was the other home. When she started to cry, Jay looked worried about her. He gave her a hug and asked, "what's wrong? what are you sorry about?"he was quite confused to say the least. "Anything i can do to help you out?" he asked curiously

[KARA ANITA JOHNSON]

a moment had passed and she regained herself just a bit. His comfort helped but she really wanted it from her husband. Kara nodded and sniffled again. "yes quite hard... but i think i wouldn't like a small house" not that this one wasn't homey, she wasn't like her sister, Kara still believed strongly in blood purity, but she hid it from the world, it was something she was raised by and she tries really hard to ignore it, but it's not something easily forgotten. Well at least when it is pounded into your head, and the momory of being scolded when you disobeyed. "i'm sorry for knocking you onto the couch for one, and i'm sorry i yelled, and i'm sorry you have to listen to me complain... i just.... i just can't talk to my sister knowing that she hates Scorp and this would make her even more bitter toward him" she told him.

After several long minutes she gathered herself the best she could and began explaining everything that was bothering her. Quite a long list, but she tried to keep it to the point. "it's just i'm so lost and tired and bored... i have all this time to think and i can't leave my bed for anything other than the restroom. I'm going insane, and i can't stop thinking about everything since my last hospital trip, i can't block out the fight, almost dying, just everything that has happened since i conceived. I know i wont be the best mother, and Scorp and i will have so many other fights... the only thing we have agreed on is their names. Well and we both love each other, but all this is just to much. she took a ragged breath before continuing.

Maybe we aren't the perfect match everyone always told us we were, what if i never gave up Luc? i wouldn't be here talking with you and the guys and i would have already had a child, not like i can have anymore after this the medication you gave me isn't working to well. What Luc did was horrible and i want him killed for it... i just feel like i'm in a funk that i can't get out of. i'm at the point where i'm gunna break down. I can't learn from the headmistress, it's not the same. i should have just dropped out like Cass. Scorp would have another fit and i'm in and out of the hospital so much that he's already about to crack again and with his father trying to come into our lives, he's just up a wall. I don't think i can take anymore, plus i'm going to have marks on my body after these brats come out and i don't want them there, my staff is irritated with me always yelling at them, but i normally don't have a staff cause i do it all myself. But i humored Scorp so i hired help, i think i'm in melt down mode" finally finishing she started to cry again, but she was trying her hardest to hold it back.

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[JAMIE MADDOX]

Jay shrugged and said, "a small place is more suited for us i suppose. because it is less space to feel lonesome in when the other is off somewhere like for instance when i am here and Selena is at school or if i am out doing something with the band and she is here..." He was just explaining why he liked small spaces. for the reasons he gave her and for it was a quicker clean among other stuff.

-unfinished-